| Saturday, October 27, 2007 |
| flowers in boxes. |
lots and lots of shoes. jamaica. thrift store. julian. a row of rings. salty breeze. premonition that stayed with me. single flowers in boxes. fitting end. nearly missed the flight. train broke through.
she was the one left behind. I explained later. |
posted by cameron75 @ 8:34 PM  |
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| Sunday, October 21, 2007 |
| the moment I said it...... |
I wished I could take it back. even after the apology, the feeling won't go away......but that's my fault. my big mouth.....my short temper.....
the forgiveness still won't make it go away..... |
| posted by cameron75 @ 7:38 PM |
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| Sunday, September 30, 2007 |
| benign reminiscence. |
the results are in: biopsies are normal. good news. now there's just the rest of my life to figure out.
I don't know what suddenly made me think of this one thing in particular this morning, but I looked back and remembered how many times in my life I have been lied to - by boyfriends, in particular. what angered me more, was that I let them get away with it. not just the lies, but the abuse, the cheating and the self-righteousness. some even contact me without a thought as to what they had done to me in the past. there were always two thing about me that bothered them; my outspokenness and sense of self. these things (aside from infidelity, naturally) drove their insecurity to excuses such as "I'm just not good for anybody" or "I think I need to be by myself" or my personal favorite, "you're just too good for me". however the one man who adored me, I let go. a terrible mistake, but he is happy now, I couldn't be happier for him (with a touch of regret).
I would love to out several of these men, but there is no need. they will out themselves soon enough, and my previous release had quieted today's reflection. |
| posted by cameron75 @ 7:03 PM |
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| Monday, September 24, 2007 |
| plans. |
I have been anxiously planning my trip to san francisco and seattle for next year. i'm so excited, that i'm not even anticipating the long flight. I think we may end up staying in hostels if the cost gets too high. thats perfectly fine with me - who wants to stay inside on vaca? every saved penny I have will be going to this trip, and I don't want to waste it on an expensive hotel. i'd like to stay in nob hill, soma or north beach (if anyone has any suggestions on places to stay, feel free). although I definitely plan on visiting the haight, I don't want to stay there. I have only been to the west coast once, and that was in another country. its about time.
I can't even begin to describe my anticipation of next year........ |
| posted by cameron75 @ 5:38 PM |
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| Tuesday, August 28, 2007 |
| ASCUS. |
well, its finally over. lucky for me, I had a fantastic doctor who lent herself to my anxiety. I will find out if the cells are pre-cancerous within the next few weeks. the pain afterwards from the biopsies is bearable, especially for someone who has not had any serious illness thus far.
thanks to everyone who has been here for me. love. |
| posted by cameron75 @ 6:15 PM |
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| Thursday, August 02, 2007 |
| in commission. |
was afk for a few weeks. things are running smoothly once again. I admit I felt a bit disconnected. I still love my new job. hopefully a weekend trip to meet a friend in nyc transpires. heat & humidity are intolerable. music popping up everywhere.
more later. |
| posted by cameron75 @ 7:58 PM |
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| Saturday, July 21, 2007 |
| week. |
I've had a week. hopefully regular blogging will resume in the near future.
the highlight was of course, interpol. photos posting soon. i've left a few small reviews out here and there, but not being online lately, its been difficult to do it full-on.
more to come... |
| posted by cameron75 @ 3:28 PM |
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